I've got some surgery coming up real soon and I'm a little nervous about it. It is not really major surgery, but several minor ones rolled into one visit. With any luck, my lower legs will be fixed and I can enjoy walking again. Also, my left shoulder will be fixed and I can enjoy moving it again. If he (my surgeon) decides to do (repair the Carpal Tunnel Syndrome) my left wrist , I should be able to play the guitar for longer than 30 minutes at a time with no pain.
All of the above should/will improve the quality of my life tremendously. Might even improve my mood.
What I'm nervous about is nothing specific. It is just a vague sense of unease about the whole affair. It's going to be done on an outpatient basis, but they will be putting me under anesthesia. So I'll be unable to breathe on my own for a while, but I will be unconscious and I think that's probably a good thing. Because he will be cutting into me in several different places and it's good that I won't be seeing or, more importantly, feeling that.
So what's to worry?
I worry that my chart might get mixed up with someone else's and maybe I'll lose a leg or something. I'm worried that maybe it won't work and I'll be even more messed up than I was before. I'm worried about not having any degree of control over myself and my immediate surroundings. I'm worried about basically being dead there on the table for a while and totally at the mercy of complete strangers. I know in my mind that none of the above is likely to happen or to be a bad thing, but still...
I've had surgery before with this same surgeon. I have no doubt but that he will do a fine job. He always has.
So I shouldn't worry. Right? Right. Yeah...
I'll let you know how it turns out after the 27th of this month.
Thoughts?
Pax,
Nelson
Monday, November 12, 2007
Mortal after all
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4 comments:
I definitely hope that all goes well, and I am sure that you'll be just fine. I had a similar surgery a few years ago, and it was the first time that I would be knocked out cold. Similar fears gripped me, but I realized that it was because I subscribe to a false sense of control. We tend to forget, but reality is something over which we really have no control. Sure, we can do things to lower risk, but at any instant something horrible could happen which we would be powerless to stop. So, I took the surgery as a nice reminder of that fact, and surrendered to the experience. I pulled through fine, and the surgery actually was instrumental in my ability to experience a much better quality of life.
I'm glad all went well for you. Thanks for the words of encouragement.
Pax,
N.
Never having had surgery myself, I cannot fully comprehend the situation you are going into. I can however tell you that it seems like everyone i DO know that has or is going to go through something similar seems to have the same "wedding day" jitters... I checked out a few studies online and found that something like 3% of all "major" surgeries nationally end up with people being worse off afterwards. Feel good you're getting outpatient care, because that statistic jumps if you have to spend alot of time IN the hospital.. Apparently you are more likely to have issues AFTER the surgery if you were to be staying in a hospital because of the rampant problem of blood infections people are getting while staying in the hospital! thankfully you are getting outpatient! you are going to be fine sir! i have a good feeling about it!
Thanks for the kind words of encouragement. Much appreciated.
Pax,
N
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