Thoughts about the "N" word

I was reading A Nigger Primer over on Transmyth and was planning a short response of general agreement with what was being said. Instead, I found myself writing a much longer response and decided it might make for a good posting of my own.

I strongly suggest you read his original post as well.

SO, with the permission of the Transmyth blog owner, here it is:

Thank-you for this thoughtful, historical and insightful post.

There are several points (maybe not points actually, more like observations and personal revelations) I'd like to make concerning this topic.

I grew up in central Virginia. When I was born, segregation was still the order of the day. I do not recall encountering another child of a different color from my own until about 5th or sixth grade, when enforced busing was introduced in my city. By that time, my prejudices, such as they were, were pretty much in place. I was not raised to believe that blacks were inferior to whites, just that they were 'different' from whites. I believe my parents at that time would not have considered themselves to be racists. In retrospect, many of theirs views (which were passed on to me) were racist. Still, as a child, I had no real animosity towards blacks that I recall. One of my fondest childhood memories is of a lovely woman who worked for my parents as a maid. She also helped raise me and I loved her dearly. I could no more have associated the word nigger with her than I could have with my own mother.

I was also raised to believe that nigger was a bad word and was not to be used in polite or any other kind of conversation.

Of course, I heard it.

Desegregation went relatively smoothly in my city. I recall no race riots or armed enforcements or anything along those lines. Of course, there were individual conflicts as might be expected with any culture clash, but even they were no more than schoolyard scuffles.

It wasn't until high school that I became a conscious, practicing racist. And when I did so, it was because I wanted to fit in with my friends. That is not an excuse, just a fact. In retrospect, I wish I had had the courage to stand up to them and tell them that what we were doing and thinking and saying was wrong (as I knew it to be), but I did not. Peer pressure is what it is. My attitudes, prejudices and actions at that time are still some of my deepest regrets.

Back to topic: nigger is not a word to be used. I don't think it should be forgotten, because the historical facts from which it derived should not be forgotten, but I don't think it should be feared either. We all must learn from the past, lest we repeat our mistakes. Through knowledge may come understanding. From understanding may come a dispersal of fear. I believe fear is what underlies and drives forward prejudice. Continued use of 'nigger' or any other racial terms in any but an historical perspective does nothing but drive fear and push people apart.

My son is in a daycare program with children of different races. As far as I know, he has no concept of that difference in a negative light. I hope he never does, but I know that is probably an unrealistic hope. When the time comes when I must teach my children about words like nigger, cracker, spic, chink, etc., I plan to teach them the history behind the words and exactly why should not be used when referring to other people. I'm going to do my best not to perpetuate racism in my children, even as I continue to expunge it from myself. I look forward to the day when we can all look back at our prejudices and the times when we identified ourselves by race or ethnic background and know that we never need do that again. I look forward to the day when tolerance and acceptance no longer need to be practiced in terms of race (or faith, for that matter) because the need for them no longer exists. I doubt I will see that day in my lifetime, but I continue to hope and work towards it anyway.

For now and for the record, I'm an English Scottish Germanic Cherokee American. Well, actually, I was born in The United States of America, so I'm an American of English, Scottish, Germanic, Cherokee descent. Oh, and I'm Caucasian and my skin shade varies with the amount of sun to which I am exposed.

Nigger: remember, do not fear.

Thanks again to Anjuan of Transmyth.com.

Any thoughts?

Pax,
Nelson